Double Day at Apple Market

Today's new experience involves two dimwit's at the same store within a period of less than 10 minutes. I was shopping for food at Apple Market with a couple of friends today. As we are walking around looking for something an employee walks over intending to help.

Employee: "Do you guys need help finding anything?"
Me: "No sir. I think we've got it."
Employee: "How about some sunblock?"

I stood there in awe of this question and barely was able to tell him that I have a skin disease. Seriously, you're implying that I'm an idiot who went outside and forgot to put on sunblock. How much nerve does it take to say that to a complete stranger? And to someone who may need help in your store. Congratulations, next time you ask if I need help I may just kick you.

We all then proceeded to the register to check out the fantastic food we were purchasing to make our lunch. The cashier asks me an all too familiar question.

Cashier: "Where did you get burnt?"
Me: "I was born with a skin disease actually."
Cashier: (in disbelief)"You was not."
Me: "Yes I was."
Cashier: "Well I'll be darned."

I'm sorry, I didn't realize people had never heard of skin diseases before. You wouldn't ask a retard why he talks funny. Because he's retarded!!!

Today at Subway

So today I decided to go to the good ol' subway for lunch and get a fantastic $5 footlong meatball marinara. I go through the line, order my sub the way I like- meatball on jalapeno cheese bread with pepper jack cheese, onions, lettuce, jalapenos, and chipotle southwest sauce, all toasted- and proceeded to the register. I hand the cashier my debit card and so asks to see my ID. She looks intently at the name and picture, lifts her eyes to make the connection with the picture, double checks the names on both cards, hands me my ID and swipes the card. As the card is being authorized she proceeds to say

"Other than the paint on your forehead you look the same."

Other than the paint on my forehead? I'm dressed in business casual. Do I look like a painter? I haven't been around paint in over a year. What about the massive beard that I didn't have when I was 18? That doesn't look any different. As I continued to tell her that the "paint on my forehead" was actually a skin disease she did not apologize. She instead said that she assumed because "I got paint on my head once when the brush hit my head." Yeah, I'm so retarded with a paint brush I forgot my head wasn't the wall.